by John Eberhard

I got forwarded an email recently that has the message below directed at President Obama. I have no idea who wrote this, but it is pretty clever.

Dear President Obama: 
I’m planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to your assistance.  We’re planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we’ll need your help to make a few ar-rangements. 

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I’m sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would
you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I’m on my way over? 

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following: 
1. Free medical care for my entire family. 
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not. 
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English. 
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bilingual) teachers. 
5. Force their schools to include classes on American culture and history. 
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school. 
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch. 
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services. 
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don’t plan to purchase 
car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws. 
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer. 
11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house-top, put U S. Flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or  negative comments from the locals. 
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start. 
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy. 
14. I want to receive free food stamps (the maximum amount). 
15. Naturally, I’ll expect rent subsidies. 
16. I’ll need Income tax credits so although I don’t pay Mexican Taxes, I’ll receive money from the government. 
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov’t pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot … please enroll me into the Mexican Social Security Program in such a way that I don’t have to pay-in, but will get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. 

Thank you so much for your kind help. You da’ man!!!

What is so amazing to me about this message is that reversing the flow back at the Mexicans makes it clear how ridiculous it is and especially how ridiculous it is that we currently do all this for illegal immigrants.

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